Hey you! Yes, you – the mom (or dad) with that glass in your hand…
I see you, with your wine glass filled to the brim. Or with your glass of whiskey. Or beer. Or vodka. I see you.
And I feel you. I AM YOU.
Let’s just be honest here: parenting is awesome. And sometimes, it sucks. Sometimes it’s awesome and it sucks at the same time, which is hard to understand if you’re not a parent. If you’re not a parent, imagine puking HARD in the middle of the best party of your life. It sucks, but man – it’s so worth it.
Being “on” at all moments can take a lot out of you. I’ve been a mom for 9+ years, and there is never a SECOND where I am not needed. Not complaining…………but shit, man – it can get overwhelming.
“Mom? Mom? Mom! Mom, where are you?”
(internal sigh, accompanied by an eye roll) “I’m going pee. I’ll be out in a minute”.
“Mom, can I <insert any stupid request here>?”
Oh, for the love of Pete. It’s like they have sensors that tingle when it is the WORST time to ask me for something.
Ah, hello my old friend. Remember me? You’re the reason I have these beautiful beings. Natural Light, you owe me child support.
Yes, I have a drink at the end of the day. Sometimes, I have 2. Sometimes, I have 7 (on a Friday). Does that make me a bad parent? Pffft. Absolutely NOT. That makes me sane. It helps me relax. I, like every other parent reading this, is juggling 20 balls at once – desperately trying to ensure none will fall. At the end of the day, the balls go away and we can relax. For me, that means putting the littles to bed and pouring myself a nice, cold glass of vodka. Or 2. Or 7 (on a Friday).
There are other parents out there reading this that don’t drink – ever – and don’t need to – ever. I envy you. You must substitute drinking with kickboxing or karate or murder or something. To each their own.
But to the mom or dad out there reading this with a heaping glass of Grandpa’s old cough medicine firmly in hand – know that you are not alone. More importantly – you’re not a bad parent. You have a lot of shit going on in your life and damn it – you’re an adult, and if you want to have a f***ing drink, then you have a f***ing drink and to hell with what anyone thinks.
I remember one time when Dylan was a baby, about 2 months old. The husband and I were desperately trying to figure out this parenting thing, and Dylan wasn’t helping. He was screaming at the top of his lungs for about an hour. A F***ING HOUR. 60 minutes of non-stop screaming. Diaper changed, full belly, “Screw you, ass holes – I am going to make your lives hell” screaming. We made the executive decision to put him in his bassinet, grabbed a beer, went out on the patio, shut the door behind us, and SLAMMED the beer. Screw you, kid. You may have won the battle, but we will win the war.
That’s parenting. It’s not pretty. No child is perfect. Trying to balance it all is incredibly satisfying and stressful. It’s amazing how I can feel like the best mom in the world and the worst mom in the world within moments of each other. There are times when I honestly feel like I have no idea what I am doing. Was the advice I just gave “good advice”? Did I just react out of emotion and not out of logic? Are they learning from my actions? ARE THEY GOING TO GO ON A SHOOTING SPREE SOMEDAY?!?!?
*takes a sip of vodka*
Ah…there we go. Mommy feels better now. You’re doing all right, you. Yes – you. I see you, with your wine glass filled to the brim. Or with your glass of whiskey. Or beer. Or vodka. I see you.
And I feel you.
I AM YOU.
Author: Katie Larsen